Your work is beautiful and impeccably tended to. Just like all you do. Your principles and how you approach life are admirable. I love you for all that you are.
Well, fwiw, I’ve been telling every friend I have to buy Portico, given it as gifts and whenever I bring the chocolate almond cake to a Shabbat meal, it’s gone in minutes, and I love telling people where it came from. It’s one of the most beautiful cookbooks I own (and I have all of your others except Little Book of Appetizers, which I NEED.) I love the dancing camel thought process, so applicable to so many things we live through. I think there’s also a corollary to sending our children out into the world - we want everyone to see how wonderful they are and most often the world does, and when it doesn’t, we ache for them. Just keep dancing, Leah, and we will be dancing with you, spoons in hand, splattering the beautiful pages of Portico and waiting not so patiently for the next cookbook. ❤️
Aww, Leslie this made me tear up. Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm thrilled that you've connected with Portico. And you're so right about the connection to our kids - I try to teach them these lessons...to keep going, to try things because they will bring them joy regardless of the external accolades. But sometimes we grownups need reminders too. I love your image of all of us having a dance party in our collective community kitchen!
Thank you for writing this. I feel you on every level and I’m sorry for your loss. I -like all of us- have also felt the crushing disappointment of something that was such a sure thing, so in the bag, that when it didn’t happen, it knocked me back for a while. And then of course the immediate feelings of guilt and stupidity for feeling sad, because, shouldn’t I just be the bigger person? And does that make me a bad person for not being immediately happy for my friends who did get the thing? And, of course, the inner speculations on why it didn’t workout (to which I once heard Ann Lamont say “the mind is a dangerous neighbourhood. You shouldn’t go there alone.”) Oh, Leah, I so feel alllll of this. If it matters, I heard you make the podcast rounds and thought you were fabulous. And the book is a work of art. You made something great, and while you should be super proud, you’re allowed to feel grief as well. ❤️
Thank you for writing Erin! And yes, it is such a universal feeling. Doesn't help when we're going through it, but ultimately it feels comforting to know we're all "in it" together.
I feel this one, Leah, I'm glad you shared it. We want to celebrate our friends that get noms and awards, because they genuinely do deserve it, but so many important and wonderful books and people get left out (Portico and you among them!)
First, three giant cheers for public vulnerability. Thank you for it, and for speaking the words so many of us have felt or wondered before. This business is TOUGH, and it's more and more crowded all the time with incredible talent, beautiful stories, engaging images, delicious recipes (and folks with deeply impressive social stats). But that fact doesn't mean anything when it's our own book being overlooked, one that feels so right and authentic and beautiful and full of heart, as yours is.
I have had only one Beard nomination, for my book Feast in 2012, in the Vegetarian category, which also won numerous other accolades, but then didn't sell well. I was so new and young in the business at the time I was simply honored to be there. I hoped but didn't actually expect to win, but people cheered so hard for me and gave me the kindest thoughts about what I was up against that felt nice in the moment (I think that year Deborah Madison won the vegetarian category. I mean, Deborah Madison, of course!!).
None of this matters in the face of our own losses. But here's what I think does: You expected to win because the book felt so right to you. So you, so heartfelt, so much a culmination of years and years of research and a coming home to your first pathway into this work. And that, I think, is the win. That you found your truest calling, the work and voice and project that is most you in the world. What an honor, what a gift to you and to others to show up fully and authentically and create something that never existed in the world. You are right, loving the work more than the reward is part of the happy ending here. But the reward is also there-it's something so few people never arrive at, even those with dozens of accolades to their name. That, my friend, is yours forever. xx
Sarah, this is so wise and so kind. Thank you for sharing your story and perspective, and for reminding me that rewards come in all shapes and sizes. You're the best! xx
I think you know how much I love Portico, Leah. It is without a doubt worthy of that award. I had to stop paying attention to all that stuff. Too much heartache. Keep doing what you love; you are so good at it ❤️
I appreciate your candor, Leah -- so many hardworking authors out there and books that are passionate labors of love, and just so few little slots for awards... Yours will come! And I will definitely be making this eggplant parmesan in the coming months.
As one of the many who were privileged to recipe test for Portico, I feel your disappointment rather personally. I have bought numerous copies for friends across the country and like to refer to it as “my cookbook!.” It’s a beautiful book and we will all continue to cook and enjoy every one of the James Beard snubbed recipes!
Thank you Jami! I love that you refer to it as your cookbook - it absolutely is. Thank you so much for your help with recipe testing and for your support.
I’ve been falling asleep every night for a week, absorbed by the recipes and stories in Portico. Your love for this subject matter shines through and leaps off the pages. Keep on dancing.
It is a gorgeous book in every way, and (I don’t know if this makes sense, but it’s what I’ve told myself) it is the same exact book that it would have been if it HAD won the award you wanted.
Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts. I poured my heart and soul into my own cookbook and dedicated years to it. It did not receive award nominations (although it got praise from many people that matter to me). It was disappointing, and I think it's healthy to be able to speak about it in the simplest way possible.
Thanks for writing Saghar! Your book is gorgeous, and I am grateful it got praise from the people who matter most. Sending solidarity on the disappointment front - it's truly so hard. But helps to be in community and realize how arbitrary these decisions that feel so *meaningful* can really be.
Dearest Leah
Your work is beautiful and impeccably tended to. Just like all you do. Your principles and how you approach life are admirable. I love you for all that you are.
Mom
PS. I cried when you didn’t win too.
Cause I’m your mom.
Thanks mom, love you xx
crying with you both. This is beautiful!
Well, fwiw, I’ve been telling every friend I have to buy Portico, given it as gifts and whenever I bring the chocolate almond cake to a Shabbat meal, it’s gone in minutes, and I love telling people where it came from. It’s one of the most beautiful cookbooks I own (and I have all of your others except Little Book of Appetizers, which I NEED.) I love the dancing camel thought process, so applicable to so many things we live through. I think there’s also a corollary to sending our children out into the world - we want everyone to see how wonderful they are and most often the world does, and when it doesn’t, we ache for them. Just keep dancing, Leah, and we will be dancing with you, spoons in hand, splattering the beautiful pages of Portico and waiting not so patiently for the next cookbook. ❤️
Aww, Leslie this made me tear up. Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm thrilled that you've connected with Portico. And you're so right about the connection to our kids - I try to teach them these lessons...to keep going, to try things because they will bring them joy regardless of the external accolades. But sometimes we grownups need reminders too. I love your image of all of us having a dance party in our collective community kitchen!
To play the game is good
To win the game is great
To love the game is the greatest of all
This is on a plaque in the lobby of the Palestra basketball stadium at the university of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. Words to live by happily.
So true! Thank you Duke
Thank you for sharing this with us, it’s brave, honest, and beautiful. I love your work.
Thank you Nicole! So grateful to have you here.
thank you for this heartfelt transparent piece, leah.
and i am so grateful for your Parmigiana di Melanzane.
"portico" was clearly a labor of love and i hope you are very proud of it.
Thank you Jude! So glad you enjoy the parmigiana di melanzane
Thank you for writing this. I feel you on every level and I’m sorry for your loss. I -like all of us- have also felt the crushing disappointment of something that was such a sure thing, so in the bag, that when it didn’t happen, it knocked me back for a while. And then of course the immediate feelings of guilt and stupidity for feeling sad, because, shouldn’t I just be the bigger person? And does that make me a bad person for not being immediately happy for my friends who did get the thing? And, of course, the inner speculations on why it didn’t workout (to which I once heard Ann Lamont say “the mind is a dangerous neighbourhood. You shouldn’t go there alone.”) Oh, Leah, I so feel alllll of this. If it matters, I heard you make the podcast rounds and thought you were fabulous. And the book is a work of art. You made something great, and while you should be super proud, you’re allowed to feel grief as well. ❤️
Thank you for writing Erin! And yes, it is such a universal feeling. Doesn't help when we're going through it, but ultimately it feels comforting to know we're all "in it" together.
I feel this one, Leah, I'm glad you shared it. We want to celebrate our friends that get noms and awards, because they genuinely do deserve it, but so many important and wonderful books and people get left out (Portico and you among them!)
Thank you Andrew! I appreciate your support and community. :)
I think it was a marvelous gift you gave your kids to see you disappointed and tearful. The most valuable learning takes place in the hardest times 😘
So true. Thank you Marsha 🥰
First, three giant cheers for public vulnerability. Thank you for it, and for speaking the words so many of us have felt or wondered before. This business is TOUGH, and it's more and more crowded all the time with incredible talent, beautiful stories, engaging images, delicious recipes (and folks with deeply impressive social stats). But that fact doesn't mean anything when it's our own book being overlooked, one that feels so right and authentic and beautiful and full of heart, as yours is.
I have had only one Beard nomination, for my book Feast in 2012, in the Vegetarian category, which also won numerous other accolades, but then didn't sell well. I was so new and young in the business at the time I was simply honored to be there. I hoped but didn't actually expect to win, but people cheered so hard for me and gave me the kindest thoughts about what I was up against that felt nice in the moment (I think that year Deborah Madison won the vegetarian category. I mean, Deborah Madison, of course!!).
None of this matters in the face of our own losses. But here's what I think does: You expected to win because the book felt so right to you. So you, so heartfelt, so much a culmination of years and years of research and a coming home to your first pathway into this work. And that, I think, is the win. That you found your truest calling, the work and voice and project that is most you in the world. What an honor, what a gift to you and to others to show up fully and authentically and create something that never existed in the world. You are right, loving the work more than the reward is part of the happy ending here. But the reward is also there-it's something so few people never arrive at, even those with dozens of accolades to their name. That, my friend, is yours forever. xx
Sarah, this is so wise and so kind. Thank you for sharing your story and perspective, and for reminding me that rewards come in all shapes and sizes. You're the best! xx
I think you know how much I love Portico, Leah. It is without a doubt worthy of that award. I had to stop paying attention to all that stuff. Too much heartache. Keep doing what you love; you are so good at it ❤️
Thank you Domenica! The feelings of fandom are mutual. :)
I appreciate your candor, Leah -- so many hardworking authors out there and books that are passionate labors of love, and just so few little slots for awards... Yours will come! And I will definitely be making this eggplant parmesan in the coming months.
Thank you Lukas. Means a lot - especially coming from you! And I hope you love the eggplant parm...it really is an excellent iteration of the classic.
As one of the many who were privileged to recipe test for Portico, I feel your disappointment rather personally. I have bought numerous copies for friends across the country and like to refer to it as “my cookbook!.” It’s a beautiful book and we will all continue to cook and enjoy every one of the James Beard snubbed recipes!
Thank you Jami! I love that you refer to it as your cookbook - it absolutely is. Thank you so much for your help with recipe testing and for your support.
I’ve been falling asleep every night for a week, absorbed by the recipes and stories in Portico. Your love for this subject matter shines through and leaps off the pages. Keep on dancing.
Oh, thank you Jennie! That is so kind, and I love that you're enjoying Portico as bedtime reading. What an honor. :)
It is a gorgeous book in every way, and (I don’t know if this makes sense, but it’s what I’ve told myself) it is the same exact book that it would have been if it HAD won the award you wanted.
Oh, that's a very lovely perspective Brian. Thank you for sharing it!
Oh, how I understand. And esp this week. Thank you for the story of the camel. I needed to hear it. Thank you for being so candid and thoughtful.
Thank you for writing! I'm so glad that this newsletter landed for you at a time when you needed it. x
Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts. I poured my heart and soul into my own cookbook and dedicated years to it. It did not receive award nominations (although it got praise from many people that matter to me). It was disappointing, and I think it's healthy to be able to speak about it in the simplest way possible.
Thanks for writing Saghar! Your book is gorgeous, and I am grateful it got praise from the people who matter most. Sending solidarity on the disappointment front - it's truly so hard. But helps to be in community and realize how arbitrary these decisions that feel so *meaningful* can really be.